Bulma's Game
by tomorrow4eva
Summary: Bra is having her birthday party, but adults aren't that welcome. Bulma organizes a little game to entertain herself and her friends to pass the time. A game to reveal secrets that they've kept from each other and the world. Light read.


**Bulma's Game**

by tomorrow_4eva   
Disclaimer: DBZ characters property of Akira Toriyama. 

Author's Notes:   
This story was inspired by a story in a doujinshi (Japanese fan comic) I bought. It has this little story called "Grandfather's (First) Visit", which will make sense the further you read into the story. I hope this is somewhat amusing. Thanks to Anja for helping develop the idea! 

Warning: Sexual references, minor language 

**Start**

The music was loud and buffet table professional looking. The lighting was perfect, as Bra remarked to Trunks in one of the few moments she pulled away from the crowds of teenagers. The night-time pool party was in honour of her 16th birthday, and Trunks, Goten and Marron were running it, acting as chaperones so that Bra's style wasn't 'cramped' by her mother (and especially her father). 

In fact, Trunks could sense his parents somewhere in the house, along with two sets of Sons (since Pan was also at the party), Yumcha, Kuririn and Juuhachigou, and, for some odd reason, Piccolo. He shrugged, deciding they were probably reminiscing and eating.   
  


"..and then the person who holds the stone has to tell a secret - a dark, deep, dirty secret that nobody else here knows!" Bulma finished, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice as she explained the game to everyone else. "Well?" 

"Hmm... I guess it sounds okay," Yumcha said. 

"Everyone has to agree, and everyone has to participate or it isn't fair," Bulma instructed. 

"Okay, Bulma!" Goku nodded. 

"Sure, I guess," Kuririn said. 

One by one Bulma managed to coax agreement out of everyone else. Holding a plain, smooth stone in one hand she waved it in the air and said, "So, who wants to go first?" 

There was silence as everyone looked a bit uncomfortable. 

Juuhachigou stretched her hand over the table, and Bulma gave her the stone. 

"Sometimes," Juuhachigou began without preamble, her voice even and uninterested, "I sneak out of the house at night and go swimming naked." 

"You do?" Kuririn blinked at her. 

"Yes. If I ever sense any of your Kis even remotely close, I will kill you. If anyone blabs to that old man, I will kill you all too," Juuhachigou said plainly. 

"Gee, that's kind of scandalous... in a private way," Bulma mused. 

"I can top that," Piccolo levitated the stone out of Juuhachigou's hand and moved it to his own. "I used to take videos of naked women from Kami's lookout." 

Everyone stared at him in shock. 

"P.. Piccolo?" Gohan gasped. 

"Before that first budokai and my first battle with Son. I'd take the videos and trade them to that old pervert for updates on how Son's training was going," Piccolo sneered slightly at Goku. "Of course, I only ever got a minute or two of footage before Kami and Popo would be out to shoo me away." 

"You mean... **that's** where **those** tapes came from," Yumcha asked, shooting a glance at Bulma. 

"Yep," Piccolo nodded. 

"Ho! And I agreed to let you train with my son and Goku?" Chichi glared at the Namek. "After you pandered to that filthy old man?" 

"I gave it up after the first budokai... I decided I had better things to do with my time. Like train," Piccolo explained. 

"And who exactly was on those videos?" Bulma asked icily. 

"Some blue haired woman I didn't know," Piccolo replied without making eye-contact. 

"I see," Bulma's tone could have frozen ice. "And you knew of these, Yumcha?" 

"Ah, not exactly," Yumcha cringed. 

"What kind of boyfriend were you? If you knew Kamesennin had that sort of thing, you should have taken it off him!" Bulma screamed. 

"Well Kuririn must have known too," Yumcha protested. "Tenshinhan probably too." 

"I must pay good old Kamesennin a visit soon," Bulma sniffed, shooting a glare at Kuririn. "I love the support I receive from his students." 

"I did **not** know about any videos with Bulma in them," Kuririn glared at Yumcha. 

"Sure," Yumcha glared back. 

"Someone else take the stone," Juuhachigou commanded. 

"Sure!" Goku said cheerfully, snatching the stone out of Piccolo's hand. "Hmm, let's see..," Goku glanced upwards, looking thoughtful. His face fell. "I killed my grandfather by accident." 

"We knew that, Son-kun," Bulma said. 

"You did?" Goku looked around, seeing various people nod. "Oh, well, um..," Goku resumed his thoughtful pose. 

Five minutes later Vegeta interrupted. "Forget it, we can come back to Kakarott later," The Saiyan sneered, "if by some miracle he actually remembers a 'dark, deep, dirty' secret." 

"Okay!" Videl held out her hand for the stone. Goku passed it over willingly. 

Videl coughed into her hand, looking serious. "When I was in primary school, I used to shoplift," She said, closing her eyes as her voice wavering just a tiny bit. 

After a pause Bulma spoke. "Shoplift?" 

"Mmhm," Videl nodded. She opened her eyes, a determined look coming to her face. "That's why I have to fight crime as the Great Saiyaman two! I have to repay that to society!" 

"Shoplift," Vegeta repeated mockingly. 

"Some of us don't have the blood of thousands on our hands, so smaller misdeeds look greater in comparison," Videl said philosophically. 

Vegeta snorted. 

Gohan took the stone. "Well, during high school once I walked into the girl's changing rooms by accident," He said, bowing his head slightly. 

"Was anyone in there?" Chichi gasped. 

"..No," Gohan admitted. "There was a bra on the floor though." 

Videl patted his shoulder while Piccolo exchanged glances with Yumcha. 

'Hopeless,' Yumcha mouthed to the green man. Piccolo nodded, a bit of a smile forming on his face. 

"Why don't you take a turn, Yumcha," Chichi said, a warning note in her voice. Yumcha glanced at her guiltily. 

"Sure, Chichi," He mumbled, catching the stone as Gohan threw it gently. "Let's see..." 

"This better not involve me naked," Bulma said, crossing her arms as she scowled. 

"It doesn't," Yumcha replied haughtily. "I have deeper, darker secrets then anything involving you." 

"Sure you do," Bulma challenged. 

"I have five children." 

The silence was almost tangible as everyone stared at Yumcha. 

"You're married?" Goku asked, surprised. 

"Nooooo," Yumcha admitted, avoiding eye contact with any of the women. "They're all illegitimate." 

"With how many women?" Chichi snapped. 

"Five," Yumcha admitted. 

"Five?!" Bulma growled. 

"I pay child support to all of them," Yumcha said defensively, "and I visit the kids frequently. I'm even training two of them." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bulma demanded. 

Yumcha shrugged. "I guess.. I never got around to it. Besides, the oldest one is only a year or so younger then Trunks, and at the time I thought Vegeta would probably head out eventually... but that's enough of my secret, who wants the rock?" He waved it around. "Bulma?" 

"Hmph," Bulma accepted the stone graciously. She stared at it for a moment, then glanced up. Everyone was watching her, curious as to what horrible secrets she was no doubt hiding from them. 

"This is something only high-level Capsule Corp employees know, and then, only those in the right sections," Bulma began, almost immediately beginning to dramatize. "It's a question many have asked, but only myself and five others know the answer... and now I will tell all of you." 

She sat up straight, squinting her eyes slightly. "Have you ever, ever wondered what would happen to a human who was put inside a capsule?" 

After a bit of a pause Kuririn nodded, most of the others joining in with him. 

"Well, we tried it once. Many years ago. Oh, a while after Namek, but before the androids. I needed something to take my mind off my pregnancy. So I decided it was time to find out once and for all! We found a volunteer. Oh! A brave, brave volunteer!" Bulma placed a hand to her forehead and paused for emphasis. "We encapsulated him, then almost immediately reopened the capsule," Bulma paused again, licking her lips. 

"And?" Gohan prompted. 

"He had turned... into a cat," Bulma finished with a nod. 

"...a cat?" Kuririn raised an eyebrow. 

"A cat," Bulma repeated. "He was a cat. We know, we did some tests. He could understand speech, you see. I brought him home and let Mother keep him. Some of his kitten's kittens are still around." 

"That's... unusual," Videl said slowly. "I wouldn't have thought a capsule would have that kind of effect." 

"What if you put a cat in a capsule?" Goku asked. 

"It turns into a lemur," Bulma didn't miss a beat. 

"Shouldn't it just die?" Piccolo asked. 

"Should and shouldn't don't enter into it," Bulma said testily. "It's a proven fact. If you encapsulate a human, they turn into a cat. Who wants this?" She hefted the stone a bit. "Kuririn, you haven't had a go yet." 

"Um, okay, Bulma," Kuririn took the rock. "Hmm.. I don't think I really have any secrets like those..." 

"Just say anything interesting or humiliating then," Bulma commanded. 

"And nothing that might make me mad," Juuhachigou said, straight faced. 

"Yes, dear," Kuririn nodded. He stared at the rock for a moment. After a moment he grinned weakly. "You know, I always thought the Ginyu squad was funny." 

"Funny?" Gohan raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah. Those stupid poses are hilarious," Kuririn snickered. "Have you ever seen anyone do something so stupid thinking it was so cool?" 

"Ah... I don't think so," Gohan said. 

Piccolo eyed Gohan and Videl suspiciously. 

"Hn," Vegeta eyed Kuririn in disgust. 

"Why don't you take a go, Vegeta?" Kuririn suggested, tossing him the stone. 

"Hmph," Vegeta snatched the stone from the air. He leaned back in his chair a bit of a smirk playing around his mouth. "Let's see... which secret..." 

"Vegeta," Gohan sighed. 

Vegeta narrowed his eyes at the half-Saiyan. "Now that I think about it, I remember pondering what to do with you and your mother while I was waiting to battle Kakarott that first time. I was going to hunt you down and eat you." 

"Vegeta!" Goku, Bulma and Chichi blurted all at once, with varying tones of anger and surprise. 

"**Eat** us?" Gohan looked ill. 

"I'm glad I didn't, I'd probably have gotten some kind of food poisoning," Vegeta said, tossing the stone up and catching it again. 

"You dirty monkey!" Chichi fumed. 

Vegeta glared at her. 

"Give me that stone!" Chichi commanded. Vegeta tossed it at her head, but she intercepted it easily. Leaning forward to glare at Vegeta with a challenging gleam in her eye, she spoke. 

"Goku's father lies buried underneath my kitchen." 

"Chichi?!" Goku gasped, staring at her. Vegeta looked slightly puzzled. 

"Kakarott's father? What the hell are you talking about? He died of Vegeta-sei with all the other Saiyajin," Vegeta growled. 

"Ha! That's what you **thought**! But if the Saiyajin I buried there isn't Goku's father, he's a close relative of some sort. He looks just like Goku," Chichi declared. 

"How could he possibly get here?" Kuririn demanded. 

"How should I know?" Chichi snapped. "I found him in the nursery with Gohan when Gohan was barely a year old. Imagine! I walked in to find this strong looking man with a nasty face in weird armour **playing with my baby**! What would **you** do?" Chichi glared at Kuririn. 

"Uh..," Kuririn stammered. 

"Presuming for minute here that there is** any** truth to this," Vegeta interrupted, "how the hell could **you** kill a Saiyajin?" 

"Fry pan," Chichi smirked. She made a motion with her fist. "Right into the skull. If you don't believe me, we can go and dig him up." 

"Yes!" Vegeta snapped, on his feet in an instant.   
  


A while later, under the stars, Chichi was instructing Vegeta and Goku where to dig. The house lay a small way off, having been lifted off it's foundation to allow easy access to the underneath. Within a short while they uncovered the skeleton with a broken skull and a tail, encased in some oddly coloured armour that looked reminiscent of the stuff Vegeta usually wore. 

After a while in which everyone stared at it in silence, Goku spoke up. 

"Chichi, why didn't you tell me about this?" 

"I thought you would think I overreacted. Besides, I'm pretty sure he's related to you.. I didn't want you mad at me," Chichi lowered her head. 

"Well, it's not like I really knew him," Goku frowned. 

"This is still impossible! Kakarott's father **did not** escape the destruction of Vegeta-sei!" Vegeta fumed. 

"Could it be Radditz?" Piccolo offered. 

"No, I gave him to some company scientists and doctors to play with. There's not much left of him," Bulma said. 

They stared at her. 

"Well, this has been quite an evening," Juuhachigou said, eyeing everyone else. "If I didn't already think you were all odd, you've convinced me." 

"...I don't even remember this," Gohan said, pointing to the skeleton. "Wouldn't I remember something like that?" 

"It's not good for little children to remember stuff like that," Chichi snapped. "Besides, I didn't kill him in the nursery, I killed him in the kitchen. He followed me out. Just ask Goten! The ghost still haunts the place some nights!" 

"..." Gohan stared at her. 

"Is that what clatters downstairs late at night?" Videl looked pale. 

"Not that often. Most of the time it's Goku or Goten, getting a snack," Chichi said a bit more gently. 

"Hmm, does anyone want to play again?" Bulma asked hopefully. "Drag some more skeletons out of the closet?" 

"Kakarott hasn't had his turn yet," Vegeta reminded her. 

Chichi handed the stone to her husband, who winced. 

"Come on, Goku," Bulma smiled at him. "There must be something interesting you've done that none of us know about." 

"Ah," Goku shot a glance at Vegeta. "Well," He smirked, "during our first dragonball hunt do you remember when we went through that town with the rabbit guy?" 

"How could I forget," Bulma said dryly. 

"I remembered that my name was Kakarott." 

"**WHAT?!**" Vegeta's eyes widened. 

"But then I forgot again," Goku grinned. 

Vegeta went Super Saiyan on the spot, moving so fast most of those present didn't register the movement until he was already on top of Goku, trying to strangle him. 

"Hey!" Chichi screamed. 

"Vegeta!" Bulma yelled. 

Goku, already also Super Saiyan, struggled to pull Vegeta's hands off his neck. "I still like Son Goku better!" He gasped as he got some air down his throat. 

"Um, excuse me, everyone," Goten said as he put down nearby, throwing a worried look at the two Super Saiyans. "The party has finished and we were wondering where you all went." 

"It's over already?" Yumcha checked his watch. "It's only one!" 

"Bra's only sixteen," Bulma said sternly. 

"What's happening?" Goten asked Gohan quietly. 

"Nothing much," Gohan replied. 

"What's that?!" Goten shrieked, pointing to the skeleton. 

"That ghost that haunts the kitchen," Chichi said firmly. "Okay, Gohan, cover that back up and put the house back. Vegeta! Goku! Move it! Do you want me to get my frying pan?!" 

"We'll pick up Marron and head home," Kuririn told Bulma as he and Juuhachigou levitated. 

"Okay," Bulma nodded. 

"I'm off too," Yumcha said. "I think I've learnt more about you people then I really wanted to know." 

"Yes, well, you know, you're welcome to bring any of your children along to our reunions," Bulma looked a little hurt. 

"Okay," Yumcha nodded, then took off. 

Videl muttered something to Gohan and left as well. 

"What a night," Bulma sighed, watching Chichi enlist Piccolo's aid in moving Goku and Vegeta so the house could be put back in place. She laughed quietly. "Oh, Bulma, you think up the best ideas for having an interesting time!"   


**- Finis -**   
Well? I know it's a bit weird... it's not supposed to be that serious. ^_^ But what else would Chichi do if she found a full grown Saiyajin warrior playing with baby Gohan? BTW, the Saiyajin **is** Goku's father, Bardock. Comments, critiscisms?! Please **review!**   



End file.
